A Year Ago Today
by InvestInLove
Summary: Keely thinks back on the day Phil died, and realizes some things. Songfic. A Year Ago Today by Delta Goodrem


A Year Ago Today

I'm writing this because a year ago on this day a boy in my homeroom class died in a car accident. I know I have to live my life, and as my science teacher (only sane thing she's ever said to tell the truth) and my homeroom teacher said, people shouldn't be remembered for when they died. They should be remembered for when they were ALIVE… Printed out these lyrics last year, actually tomorrow, because I didn't find out the day it happened. But somehow, I still seem to have the same paper I printed out that day…. SHANE LARISON WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED IN OUR HEARTS!!!!!

_Another year older   
A little bit stronger  
A little bit wiser than _

_A year ago today_

Keely sat in her room, crying. It had been a year. Exactly one year since Phil had…..

Died.

She always thought he would go back to the future…dying in a car crash was a whole different story.

_Looking over my shoulder  
I was so much younger then  
I can't believe what happened  
A year ago today_

She flipped through the pages of a scrapbook she had made of her and Phil… they looked so happy, and then…they were.

But most of all, they looked ALIVE….like Phil wasn't. And ever since Phil had died, Keely had felt like she had died right with him.

_And I just can't forget about it  
It wouldn't mean a thing  
You went away  
A year ago today_

And in a way, she did.

Everything went down the drain. She stopped caring about her grades, half the time she didn't even come to school. She barely ate, or slept. She made no effort. In anything….

_Another year gone by  
Oh the tears have run dry  
Life seemed so unkind  
A year ago today_

She thought, after crying and crying, that she would have no more tears left, but they never seemed to stop. She couldn't remember a day she didn't sulk around and cry.

Her mom tried to help her, but it didn't work, so she had given up. Phil's family had all moved away and Keely hadn't heard from them in over 6 months. They could have gone back to the future for all she knew.

_And I just can't understand it  
And I don't think I ever will  
You went away  
A year ago today_

She didn't get it…why did he have to die at such a young age… only 17.

He was on the phone with her and he wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and suddenly a drunk driver crashed right into the driver's side…and once the ambulance arrived, it was already too late.

He didn't deserve to die…but once she had heard the expression "only the good die young" and she knew it was true.

_And how many times have I questioned myself  
What more could I do  
And how many times did I fool myself  
Over you oh? Yeah_

She felt it was her fault. She was the one on the phone with him after all. She was the cause of him not paying attention.

People had tried to tell her it wasn't her fault. She wasn't the one driving drunk…he was one who caused the accident.

She didn't know how many times she had dreamt about him, and then cried her eyes out when she realized it was just a dream.

She had seen him, or an illusion of him. She would run up to him and realize it wasn't him…it was just…nothing.

_You've gotta pick yourself up,  
Take another look  
And dust yourself off cause life's too good,  
I'll say it to myself and I'll say it again   
Love will never end_

And suddenly…in that moment while looking at the pictures, she realized she needed to do what he would have wanted her to. Live the best she could, and remember him for the memories when they were alive, not when he died.

She got up from her bed and dried her tears. She looked in the mirror and saw how much work she needed. But there was a glow in her face that hadn't been there in months…that was progress.

_And though we're so far apart  
You're forever in my heart_

She touched the heart necklace he had given her a couple of weeks before he died. Even though he wasn't with her. he was always in her heart.

A few more tears fell from her eyes, but they were happy ones, and she could almost hear his voice telling her he was proud of her.

_  
Another year older  
A little bit stronger  
On this anniversary  
You're watching over me_

She looked in the mirror one more time, then ran outside into the cool night air.

She imagined Phil with her, and could almost feel his presence with her.

A soft breeze began to blow, and she knew it was a sign from him, a sign from heaven, telling her he loved her...telling her to move on.

"I love you Phil." She whispered to the sky. Then she turned around and went inside, and she knew, suddenly, there was hope.

_You went away  
A year ago today_

I, being me, think it sucked. Like always of course. I had to get this out though, even though I wasn't close to Shane, I knew he would have wanted me to. If anyone of you have lost someone close to you, I hope this is encouraging…and give me your honest opinion on this, because it came from the heart.


End file.
